I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
