im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
