Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
