Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
