No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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