He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
