No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
