I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize