Pappa wants mamma naked
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
