So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
