Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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