You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
