My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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