Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
