Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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