Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
