the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
