I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I will pee on everything he values.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
