So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize