Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I love you. Go after that dick
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
