Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
