it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
