New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
