this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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