Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
