i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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