hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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