This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
