TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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