Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
