Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
