I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
