You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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