She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
