why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You dont lie about slip and slides
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
