Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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