I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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