thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
