your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
