Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize