five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
