Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Acid is not a monday night drug
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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