The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
