There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
