I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
