I hate your face
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
