It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We need to get me chipped asap
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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