I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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