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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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