i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
