it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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