just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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