so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize