i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
