New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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