There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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