How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
