Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
