NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
