Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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