who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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