Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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