one might say we're banned from that church
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
