Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
