She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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