Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
