Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
