no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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