i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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