3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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