I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
