No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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