I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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